Formal First DOTW

    Hi, friends! For those of you just tuning in I would like to semi-formally introduce myself. Hi! I'm Andrea and I am five or six Twisted Teas deep while my sister teaches herself kung-fu in my living room. Don't believe me? Well this is one of the few times I swear I am not cracking a joke- just know that the man on my T.V.  aggressively counting to ten could kick mine or your ass any day of the week that ends in 'y'. That was a joke, he couldn't kick mine. Anyway I would like to make clear that until this week my DOTW pick was only sent to my close friends and then later added to this site just because that felt like the right thing to do. What kind of woman would I be if I didn't share these gems? The answer: a fuck-ass bitch. 

This week I am a day late but forgive me because I am NOT a DILF short. I have prepared for you someone who is widely known for their role in the original Karate Kid, blonde, over the age of 50, and still kick ass. I present to you... William Zabka. 

Zabka does in fact have one son and one daughter hereby making him a DILF and a wife hereby making me feel UNLUKY. I know, I know. Try and hold your applause 'til the end. William is 59 years old and so fine that I swear I could go outside and hoot and holler- I probably would if I weren't writing this at ten o'clock at night and scared of the dark. He is also 6' which is only two inches taller than me, but hey, taller is taller! He's got blonde hair which I would normally deem unacceptable on a man but he knows how to pull it off, and his voice is just the right amount of deep. Cue 'Paris Hilton Voice': "That's hot."  I am certain he is in many other things as he is a successful actor but I only know of Karate Kid and Cobra Kai. If you are interested in knowing more about his acting career I suggest you use Google and look him up. What the hell do I look like... Inspector Gadget? Do your own research. 

I bet at this point you are thinking, "Why the hell is this bitch attracted to the bad guy that everyone hates in Karate Kid?" 

And... well... honestly the answer is simple. In Cobra Kai he is funny and I REALLY like the way he flicks the cap to his Coors Banquet when he is done twisting it off... gosh! Can't a girl just like what she likes? All jokes aside the writers, or producers, or directors or maybe even the Divine herself did a pretty fan-fucking-tastic job of giving Johnny Lawrence a redemption arc in Cobra Kai and I started to feel bad for the guy. Combine my need to fix every wounded/damaged semi-attractive to drop dead gorgeous guy with the fact that he is clueless, funny and knows how to fight and you have got yourself my dream man. At this point in my prolonged explanation for why William is my pick out of my list of DILFs for this week I am about 7 Twisted Teas in, and I can't give you a concrete number because I have lost count and I am locking in to deliver love to fine ass Zabka opposed to rifling through my trash to determine the number of cans in the bottom of the bin. Ultimately I have yapped about myself far too much in this post so from here on out I will limit the personal anecdotes and focus on the DOTW.

Zabka is a green belt in Karate because he elected to continue training after the original Karate Kid film. For those of you unfamiliar with the rank, green belt is near half way to a black belt. According to various sources Zabka did not get along with Karate Kid co-start Ralph Macchio when filming for Karate Kid but was later quoted saying "He's my brother in arms. I never would've imagined that." In regards to his relationship with Macchio after filming several seasons of Cobra Kai together. Ugh. Why must I always let these things makes me emotional? If you haven't watched Cobra Kai it is actually a really good Netflix series that I recommend streaming when you get the chance. I only decided to watch this- and continued to watch this because William Zabka is in it and his comedic timing is absolutely genius. I love the show and I LOVE William Zabka who as you know plays Johnny Lawrence.

As I conclude this weeks hot topic that is the main event on everyone's card, I wish to leave you with only one thing. That thing is that William Zabka is 1000% worth looking into and 1000% attractive. Although I am not 1000% magical and therefore able to guess your type with 1000% accuracy I am 1000% boy crazy and approximately 999% magical. Being 999% magical means I am capable of writing a halfway shitty halfway cool as fuck blog and throwing out either the most random of or most basic of DILFs until I drunkenly cast a wide enough net to catch you bad bitches. Note that I stuck out my tongue and twirked a little while typing that last sentence.

If this specific column of this blog was either A) a piece of shit, B) filled with typos, C) nonsensical or D) all of the above- then 1) no the fuck it wasn't, 2) blame it on the alcohol, 3) make it make sense, or 4) all of the above.

P.S. I apologize for not making a connection to my one true love, Joe Biden. I do my best sleuthing when I am completely sober and my attention span is longer than 7.9 seconds. If you are thinking that is oddly specific it is because I timed it. Just kidding. I did not time it, that is however the amount of time it took me from the time I set the timer to remember I set the timer. If sober you does however make a connection between William and Joe, please reach out personally and let me know!

Look into this DOTW, relax with a nice hot cup of Cobra Kai and remember I fucking love you.